I always say that nobody is obliged to do anything or to explain anything to me. And I am sure that is an indicator of an attitude: I won't explain only when a person is not able to understand at all or it is too painfull to me. Or if I do not care at all. Any other time I don't want to a dear one to worry or wonder, to suffer from ignorance. So how should I react to complete ignoring of questions which are so important to me? I can only repeat again and again that noone is obliged.

Painfully I'm forcing myself to talk to you again. I hope to learn how to deal with indifferency so will never be hurt by it again. I step over myself now and try to think of you, to write you letters, to react somehow. I am not good in it but inch by inch I sew together two pieces of cloth and they hold. Sure there's a stich, wide and rough, and nothing can make those pieces the whole.

I rise above not to think about revenge, not to hope for future, not to hate. I rise above to simulate some kind of friendship, to avoid rumours, to act normally to a person who actually did nothing bad to me.

I really do my best but I can't succeed.

"When I ever think of a woman I will think of you".

I still don't want to talk to you. I don't want to know about your life, don't want to talk about people, cats, apartments, colors, everyday stuff, anything.

I don't want to greet you in the morning, to wish you good night, to ask about health. I don't want you to worry about me, don't want to tell you anything.

I want to be with you as long as I can, make you happy, support you, give birth to your children some day. I don't want a small chat.

I don't want to talk to you.
Why should I talk to you.
Why give my life to an indiffirent.
Do you need my life? Did you ever need it?
Where would it lead?
Was I fooling myself?
Why did it change?
You won't answer.