In my schedule book there are special marks on every page to know when you are coming here and I can put my arms around you and breathe with you the same air, and have walks and chats and dinners, and see your sunny smile to which nothing could be compared. And then after a long day of having pleasure of you while doing nothing fall asleep head to head on the same pillow. And then wake up a little bit earlier and see you sleeping and be happy.

I believe we shoud take all good we can from current and don't think about future pain if we can't avoid it. We should feel the moment and not let anything dim it. This is why there are no marks in my calendar for your departure and I never make plans for your visit though I understand that parting is unpreventable.

There are no marks for that day when you will leave. For the night when I won't be able to fall asleep and will watch you every second, hold you, disturb you. When I will go with you to the airport and kiss you good-bye and turn around so you won't see my tears because I don't want you to empathise. Still you will say "Oh, Sashka, hush, hush" and I will smile to you as if it doesn't hurt like hell.

I will then come home and cry my heart out once I'm alone. After that I'll greet you with landing, write you a letter and put new marks into my schedule book to count days till I can put my arms around you.