I can't even decide which was greater cowardice: to leave without talking, without trying to solve and adjust or coming back now being ready to change everything. Two days I was going through hell and should kept going as I was sure in what I'n doing. Now I doubt everything every minute but it is much easier. I now derive consolation from the thought that I am not strong at all and anything I can do now is flow and try to relax. As I am getting better and have more and more doubts, I eat myself with delusion that in fact I had strength and power to keep going, to experience that, to survive at last and to do the right thing. And I am afraid that I will never know which was right to do: to leave or to return.