Before we kind of made some plans for future: to look for a country to spend winter. We hoped for Spain. Spanish consulate asked for a lot of documents which I couldn't get without his presence but didn't receive any help why he was with me.
I heard that time that L. is wonderfull. She comes, stays a night, makes coffee in the morning and then leaves. That was a bell. Some time ago I had a boyfriend who was so much busy working and going to business trips that he tried to spend any free minute with me, he asked me to come sit with him while he was sleeping between flights, he even didn't have any timeon his own. This relationship ended soon but our really warm friendship lasted for many years and with every step my former boyfriend proved how special I had always been to him. And my current boyfriend kept telling unpleasant things and tried to compare us, to say she was better than me in some ways. Funny thing is that I wasn't because I was just the same but he couldn't notice.
For some time already I had depression due to my work problems and that depression prevented me from doing any active steps. For every phone call, every visit I needed so much power that I preferred to delay everything and when I finally did I became so exhausted every time that couldn't go on anymore. But still I think I made very much for our departure here. I found all the information, I contacted people who supported us when we came here, I arranged visas for three of us and later I bought tickets for two of us.
What I heard was only criticizing my actions and compliments to her. I tried to understand that he was working so much for all of us and she was with him there supporting and caring but still I was depressed. While I had to seek the cheapest way to get to the place he presented her tickets worth $1500. I could barely stay calm.
No comments:
Post a Comment